finding the beauty in life

Friday, October 17, 2014

THE LIFE POST- ANXIETY, MANIC DEPRESSION AND AGORAPHOBIA




December 6, 2011 is a day that I will never forget. Let me just set the scene for you. Imagine a lecture haul crowded with students anxious to get their FILM exam over with, and imagine me sitting in that lecture haul nauseas and dizzy, and wondering why the hell I feel that way. I got up to go the bathroom, thinking that If I just peed I would be able to get back to my essay question (I had the perfect answer planned). Unfortunately, no such luck for me I continued to feel nervous and agitated so, I turned in my incomplete exam and rushed back to my dorm room. 20 minutes later I was in the back of an ambulance with my left arm numb and the paramedics taking my pulse. This was my vey first anxiety attack and it sure was not going to be my last. Fast-forward to three years later and I have been diagnosed with manic depression, anxiety, and agoraphobia. Although I don’t feel all of these things every day or even at the same time, it still is a constant struggle to deal and manage with every day life when you don’t have all the coping mechanisms.  Its different for everybody but for me it takes medication, counselling  a close friend, and eating a lot of feelings for me to make it through a week. Why am I telling you this? Well, recently I was reminded that you never truly know what someone is going through and I really think that as human beings we should all take the time to consider, that the people who surround us may have more going on in their lives then what appears on the surface. I smile on the surface but for me everyday is a constant struggle a constant battle not to return to the aftershock of December 6, not to return to the girl who didn’t leave the house for 2 months. Be compassionate you never know what someone else is going through.

xo Kesha

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1 comment

  1. I love this kesha! Xoxo one day at a time

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